Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
All original content by me is licensed under the CC BY-NC 3.0 License
on salaries, hookers, and backhanded compliments.
[-]: how much /do/ you make?
[B]: every 2 weeks is like $xxxx after taxes
[-]: ...I dont think I could make that much even if I was a hooker.
[B]: hookers don't pay taxes.
[B]: and, please, you could make that per hour if you were a hooker
[-]: lol why thank you.
we fight sometimes.
Ben: it should be physically impossible to take years of effort and years of trust
Ben: and call them into question with one word or action, or an exchange lasting just a few minutes
Midori: "i cheated on you."
Midori: that exchange lasts a second and totally destroys everything
Midori: so... that's not a valid argument.
Ben: the exchange does, but the action that it refers to took a lot longer
Midori: depends how long he lasts.
So I’m up in a VIP lounge…
Having a drink on the house (an excellent homebrewed ginger ale) overlooking the Ginza shopping district, which is the Japanese equivalent of the Champs-Elysees in Paris. I distractedly turn on my iPod touch.
A girl sees the background, me and Ben, and close-to-shrieks (in Japanese, of course), “OMG, is that your boyfriend?” I reply yes, knowing full well what’s coming next - a barrage of “oh my god, he’s so hot, you’re so lucky, can I see more”, etc. I don’t mind, it’s true - I am rather lucky, and Ben is rather attractive. I don’t mind gloating for a bit.
The next thing I know, there is a gaggle of girls surrounding me and my iPod, all pretty much squealing the same thing, god help me. The girl who first approached me then says, “Foreign guys are, dating- wise and looks-wise, of a higher caliber than Japanese guys.” The girls all agree. Yikes.
I laugh rather uncomfortably, having only ever dated “gai-jin” and having always done so trying to avoid any kind of insinuation of that sort. I start to wonder why I tend to choose one guy over another when she answers for me: Nevermind the argument about looks. There is still a lack of chivalry and respect of women as free-standing people with their own personal ambitions and lives, not just as daughters and arm candies, here in Japan.
The other girls are listening carefully.
Basically, there’s a distinct lack of healthy feminism, and way too much culture-defined femininity. This in turn affects the interactions of both women and men towards themselves and each other, in turn heavily affecting the type of relationship one can expect to have. Not to say there aren’t exceptions on both sides of the pond - there are plenty, but it’s just easier to notice rules over exceptions.
Stirring my ginger ale, I am kind of shocked that a serious discussion about what is, essentially, the state of feminism in Japan evolved from a group of girls drooling over my boyfriend and his “melt-worthy” eyes.
…Then again, I’m at a VIP lounge in Ginza. It would happen, and I’m incredibly glad it did.
