Love you, long time no see, etc etc.
Let’s cut to the chase - Can has bag back please? From what I understand, my luggage has been sitting at EWR all day in a Continental cage because, dun dun dun, Continental doesn’t have the processing ticket for it - United does. While it’s lovely that you literally sent it back to my home airport on the first flight available (a Continental flight), it’s ultimately proved useless because United hasn’t been able to process it or send it back.
So… before it gets lost or destroyed among the unknown/unclaimed Continental pieces, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GIVE MY BAG BACK TO UNITED! And then back to me.
Also, if you could merge a liiiittle bit faster, that’d be great too.